Gareth, Sudhana, Sudana and myself did a spot of digging. The roots ran deep beneath the soil, very ingrained and difficult to uproot, just like our patterns of mind!
]]>
Is this spirituality just stuff inside my head ?
Going on retreat is not necessarily about having a spirituality. You might have one but most people don’t. It is about refreshing yourself, relaxing, and taking a journey into the deeper self. Reassessment about your life and relationships and values can happen. And why not? What other time have you ever had to do it?
It does not matter how many spirituality books you have read or how many self-development courses you have attended or what spiritual techniques you have practiced for deepening your inner awareness. Unless you stop and let go of your ordinary concerns, the spirit can not speak to you. The present moment is where the spirit lives so you have to let go of yesterday and cease to look toward tomorrow which has not yet arrived. You need to stay in the present moment long enough to listen to your inner spiritual voice. Be like the flowers in the field, Jesus told us. They do not worry about this or that but just live. The Buddhist say that this state is the place of reality. Going on retreat gives you a chance to explore these dimensions of yourself. Not in your head but in your soul.
]]>"Pines and sunlight are stronger than any dream"
Robert Pirsig "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance"
]]>
"This deepest form of prayer is really just the willingness to be still and let the longing in your heart go out without defining or understanding where it is going. This is faith. Our minds cannot see the goal of our spiritual training. Meditation is the willingness to let go and learn to trust so that we may enter into this seeming darkness. In the passage from The Cloud of Unknowing, the writer is expressing the idea that our minds cannot grasp God, cannot even begin to say what God is, yet our hearts are reaching out. A Buddhist way of saying this is that our small minds and intellects cannot even begin to fully grasp or understand the boundless life of Buddha."
by Rev. Kinrei Bassis
]]>I have not updated my blog for some time now.
I have been pondering on forgetfullness at the moment. We say in practice, may I awaken from forgetfullness and realise the Pureland. I have been contemplating this and my wish to live in rememberance. Rememberance of the Buddha and his teachings, rememberance of that which is not self (everything! Thank goodness!) and rememberance of the compassion that sustains life. Alas, I am half asleep unfortunately and yet, there is something that isn't. It is unknown to me and yet there is an unspoken connection in my heart with it. I call it Amida, it doesn't mind. Namo Amida Bu.
In the words of Shinran,
"Although my eyes blinded by passions
Do not see the warm light that embraces me,
Great compassion never tires
Constantly casting light upon me."
]]>People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway!
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway!
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Be successful anyway!
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway!
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway!
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway!
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway!
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you have anyway!
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God:
It was never between you and them anyway!
"When we practice, initially, as a basis we control ourselves, stopping the bad actions which hurt others as much as we can. This is defensive. After that, when we develop certain qualifications, then as an active goal we should help others. In the first stage, sometimes we need isolation while pursuing our own inner development; however, after you have some confidence, some strength, you must remain with, contact, and serve society in any field -- health, education, politics, or whatever.
There are people who call themselves religious-minded, trying to show this by dressing in a peculiar manner, maintaining a peculiar way of life, and isolating themselves from the rest of society. That is wrong. A scripture of mind-purification (mind-training) says, "Transform your inner viewpoint, but leave your external appearance as it is." This is important. Because the very purpose of practicing the Great Vehicle is service for others, you should not isolate yourselves from society. In order to serve, in order to help, you must remain in society."
]]>"I have been looking for you, World Honored One,
since I was a little child.
With my first breath, I heard your call,
and began to look for you, Blessed One.
I've walked so many perilous paths,
confronted so many dangers,
endured despair, fear, hopes, and memories.
I've trekked to the farthest regions, immense and wild,
sailed the vast oceans,
traversed the highest summits, lost among the clouds.
I've lain dead, utterly alone,
on the sands of ancient deserts.
I've held in my heart so many tears of stone.
Blessed One, I've dreamed of drinking dewdrops
that sparkle with the light of far-off galaxies.
I've left footprints on celestial mountains
and screamed from the depths of Avici Hell, exhausted, crazed with despair
because I was so hungry, so thirsty.
For millions of lifetimes,
I've longed to see you,
but didn't know where to look.
Yet, I've always felt your presence with a mysterious certainty.
I know that for thousands of lifetimes,
you and I have been one,
and the distance between us is only a flash of though.
Just yesterday while walking alone,
I saw the old path strewn with Autumn leaves,
and the brilliant moon, hanging over the gate,
suddenly appeared like the image of an old friend.
And all the stars confirmed that you were there!
All night, the rain of compassion continued to fall,
while lightning flashed through my window
and a great storm arose,
as if Earth and Sky were in battle.
Finally in me the rain stopped, the clouds parted.
The moon returned,
shining peacefully, calming Earth and Sky.
Looking into the mirror of the moon, suddenly
I saw myself,
and I saw you smiling, Blessed One.
How strange!
The moon of freedom has returned to me,
everything I thought I had lost.
From that moment on,
and in each moment that followed,
I saw that nothing had gone.
There is nothing that should be restored.
Every flower, every stone, and every leaf recognize me.
Wherever I turn, I see you smiling
the smile of no-birth and no-death.
The smile I received while looking at the mirror of the moon.
I see you sitting there, solid as Mount Meru,
calm as my own breath,
sitting as though no raging fire storm ever occurred,
sitting in complete peace and freedom.
At last I have found you, Blessed One,
and I have found myself.
There I sit.
The deep blue sky,
the snow-capped mountains painted against the horizon,
and the shining red sun sing with joy.
You, Blessed One, are my first love.
The love that is always present, always pure, and freshly new.
And I shall never need a love that will be called “last.”
You are the source of well-being flowing through numberless troubled lives,
the water from you spiritual stream always pure, as it was in the beginning.
You are the source of peace,
solidity, and inner freedom.
You are the Buddha, the Tathagata.
With my one-pointed mind
I vow to nourish your solidity and freedom in myself
so I can offer solidity and freedom to countless others,
now and forever"
Thich Naht Hahn
]]>Gareth, Sudhana, Sudana and myself did a spot of digging. The roots ran deep beneath the soil, very ingrained and difficult to uproot, just like our patterns of mind!
]]>
"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest human battle ever and to never stop fighting"
E.E.Cummings
]]>Well, it's nearly been a year since I left Newcastle and moved into The Buddhist House, Narborough, to experience full time Buddhist training. What a year it's been! I've learned so many things over the past year and I suspect that I'll still be digesting a lot of it in the years to come. It's been without a doubt, one of the best and most challenging experiences of my life so far. What is the main thing that I have learned I ask myself. The most profound and liberating and painful and sobering has been glimpsing my own bombu nature. As a self confessed perfectionist, the increasing awareness of my foolish nature has been my biggest challenge. The identity that I've created as being something better than I am, has been and I suspect will be, the ongoing koan in my life. This life of faith doesn't come easy to this lass ... Am i truly acceptable to the Buddha in my imperfect state? This is my heart's question.
"As the verse says, the Buddha never abandons us even if we feel that we are utterly undeserving of his compassion. The recognition that we are saved despite ourselves, is the very thing that allows our karmic weight to no longer be as 'burdensome' for the Buddha takes it on his shoulders, so to speak, and assures us that it is no longer an impediment to our being embraced by his wisdom and compassion. To be sure, we still feel the bitter pain and disappointment of our own manifold shortcomings but we no longer have the added burden of feeling that we are thereby excluded from the Buddha's grace.
Ultimately, the Buddha's message is one of joy in the liberating knowledge that our salvation from the fetters of human existence is not, in any way, subject to what we do, can do or should do. Of course, we seek to live our lives as humanely as we can with due regard to the well-being of others. Unfortunately, however, this is not always possible. Despite our very best intentions, we do often hurt other people and cause untold damage in all sorts of subtle ways - to ourselves, the environment, and to animals.
We should live our lives with our eyes wide open to all that we are and to all that we do. We should be honest about our capacities and not delude ourselves that we are better than we really are or superior to others. In the face of the Buddha's purity and perfection, we are as nothing. In relation to his steadfast promise of complete emancipation, we should take stock of our true worth and gratefully accept this gift with profound gratitude."
John Paraskevopoulos http://www.nembutsu.info/may033.htm
]]>